subjective normality

My life is beginning to return to normal. Question is, what is normal?

  In this house, normal is half of us waking up to greet the 2 or 13 kids that we will be taking care of that day. After everyone eats the breakfast of their choice and leaves  it on the counter, the boys go outside, the younger girls get out the dolls, and the older ones try to tidy up. I hope to escape and work on my art. Instead, I play Polly pockets and make lunch. My wonderful siblings try to help with the naptimes, the lunch, messes, AND do their school, but it's one or the other. What most people don't know is the sandbox isn't just dirt, it's a volcano in Pompei, a chance for buried treasure or a construction zone depending on the imagination. The toy guns (mostly) are not just toys, they protect the girls in the sandbox, and the mathematics about velocity and pressure are focused on heavily by my 12 year old brother. (I don't understand a bit!)The garden is a miracle where water and dirt make food, and living things thrive. The one horse is a valiant loyal steed. The playhouse is a hideaway. 

   Right now my brothers and their friends are filming their own movie. They wrote the script, take turns acting and filming, and I'll help them cut it and put it together. The girls watch me try to write a story, and I stall to teach a three year old that blue and red make purple, and we draw together as the older one tries to write a poem. The four year old learns to add as we play snakes and ladders. we learn debate class as they bring forth arguments as to why they should watch TV instead of clean. (didn't work.) It's soccer time, and we make individual pizza breads, and they learn to cook. The littlest kids and Mom are out, and that's when we try to tidy up. From all this learning and running around, the Lee kids are tired! We put the extra young ones in either their own Mommy's arms, or in respective sleeping arrangements. Sometimes that means "camping" in the playhouse. I didn't get much done, but I did a lot!

     As this is going on, in my personal time I don't have, I help my little sister with her resume, update my own, look for a job, write a book, Help Grandpa build a countertop, try to stay in contact with the people that are far away, wonder why I need to help with youth group, and why I never have a clean bedroom when I go to bed. 

This is normal for me. many things happen through the rest of it, but these are the main points. I sometimes feel lazy, because this isn't the stuff that goes on resumes or to do lists, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it, even though I will be moving on soon. No one else's home is like my own, and it made me who I am. I just wish I had a naptime, And I'm only the big sister!

God is teaching me through being back home. At times I'm tired, and just want company of people my own age, not Moms, not kids. I love them, don't get me wrong, but it's hard being almost the only one in my town that's neither one!  I have been languid or restless, hoping for something else to do, somewhere else to go, and I've spent most of my life feeling the same. I DO feel called to travel, reach out to kids in the cities far away, learning more of cultures and God, but I am being taught that Home is wherever God has me, and right now it's here. And it's good.

the strangest love, and keeping on.

"Do you want to say hi to Kynya? she just got home!"
"Yeah, but that girl's not Kynya, cuz Kynya has purple hairs and that girl has brown ones."

"Where is that girl that sleeps in my room?"
"It's actually her room, she just got home. Why do you want her?"
"I like her, but why is she here?"

"We bought you your favourite chocolate, but we ate it."

"Did you ride a wallaby on your vacation?"

"How cute is that Aussie boyfriend?"

These are parts of actual conversations this week. The first few days all I did was sleep. Life was kick- started by the hour long presentation I did for the adult class at my church. It went pretty well, but we are kinda quiet, so the question time was partly filled with youtube videos of the base.  It's good to be home, but it's honestly been a bit hard to adjust to being a child again, as in, asking if I can do something, go somewhere etc. My family has been really nice, letting me sleep and not pulling evil pranks on me.

My mom has agreed to take four young kids in for the next couple months and homeschool them while their mom gets medical care. I had not met them until today. They are really sweet, and the youngest thinks I'm "cool" (a four year old's compliment is the best) but that means she follows me everywhere, including the bathroom... I love them, but I'm still pretty tired, so I don't understand how much she loves me when the most I'm doing is barely being nice!

I don't have much to do, but cooking and writing/illustrating has kept me fairly busy. That is, when I'm not playing barbies. I'm missing my DTS friends and the city and warmth! I'm starting to get my bearings and where I fit in the family, home, and community. My room was the room of requirement, so I have to find where everything is, and reclaim it instead of the four year old who doesn't realize it's not hers anymore. Oops. She's a cutie though.
 There was a lot of deaths in my church while I was gone, and realizing a lot of the strong men and women I looked up to are gone has been pretty hard too. I didn't have time to grieve while I was in YWAM, so now I have time to thank God for the time I did have to learn from them, but I wish I had cared more! I miss them, but it makes me determined to become more strong in my faith, and live it out no matter what. I didn't really care about God before DTS, now I am probably the crazy christian chick who does everything because of Him. and that's ok, because it sure isn't fake. God has been so good with encouraging me through Colossions and even just the impending coffee and Skype dates. He has given me so many good people to talk to!

  This summer I'll be getting a job, hopefully making enough to pay for most of BLS. Its hard not to stress out about finances and transportation right now, and there's  a lot of pressure for me to "get a real job, or go to a real school, make something of my life." It may not be said in so many words, but the metron is pretty thick.
To be brutally honest, I need prayer for me to keep fighting for God and my dreams. I don't want to not care.  Thank you all so much for continuing to pray for me.

Grad, final project and Homecoming

    A lot has happened over the last two weeks, but the biggest change is my location. The last two weeks on base were focused on going home. 

    Michelle, a radio producer and a great mom figure, talked about partnering with God in the Arts and how art opens doors to opportunity, both good and bad. 

During the last two weeks, we filmed a stop motion music video, with every art track doing a part. I drew the sets on the floor with chalk. I didn't realise how long the days were going to be, sometimes working to 5 AM! I really hope it's uploaded on youtube soon so I can show it at the hourlong presentation I am giving at church. I've never had that much time before! I know I did a lot, but what do I say that will be beneficial to the church, and take a whole hour? 

     Mr. Lenz and his wife talked about re entering the culture you came from, and that was so helpful, because after being out of the country so long, and living with 150 people, in a city on the other side of the world, Evansburg seems empty and spread out. but it's where I grew  up, and It's home for now. The countryside, maple syrup and cold are awesome, but I'm still trying to get used to it again. I have been doing a lot of sleeping lately, because my body thinks it's midnight at 4 pm and 4 pm at midnight, and it's confusing. 

   Before I left, The MAD DTS had a big graduation ceremony, and various parties. We dressed up as lumberjacks and ate pancakes, dressed up fancy for our diplomas, and then went out to an all night pancake house, to celebrate our last full day together. Our DTS may have had challenges, but we were all so close by the end, It was hard to say goodbye. I was there for a few days after grad, so some of us went to the beach, meeting people along the way who were willing to talk, and we shared what God was doing with us over at the bottom of the world. It was so interesting to see that if you just follow God you don't have to try and evangelize or make things happen, people are drawn to you. Things just happen around us. We don't start it! The party just starts when the Holy Spirit walks in! (Maybe that sounds weird, but it's true.) 

  The next day, My bros and I went out for slushies, and basically just chilled. ( Unfortunately Miguel's car ran out of gas about 10 feet from the station so we had to go and push it.) I had my last 1on1 with Sara, going back to the tree where we had our first, and quite awkward one. I went out for coffee with Gary, because the staff claims he doesn't talk to students so we had to prove them wrong.  Then I helped out with Missions Sim, the contents of which are classified. ;) 

       Going home was interesting, because we had a bunch of minor delays on the way to and in the airport, but I made it, and It just shows that AU wants me back. My welcome crew, AKA my family, came out of nowhere and almost bowled me over with hugs, and treated me to Tim Horton's and sleep. By the way, Edmonton Airport is decorated with hockey and deer related items. Yeah, I understand the teasing now. And I do say Out weird but our customs are a whole lot nicer to get through!  

     I'm planning to go back to Brissy on staff with YWAM, and I truly believe that's where God wants me, so prayers and finances would be great. Love you all!