Journey for a crown

This is a short story I wrote a couple years ago on DTS. I was thinking of a friend who went through a traumatizing experience, and hoped to encourage people by it. I meant to illustrate it, but i kept getting frustrated about my ever changing style. so here it is for your viewing pleasure. maybe one day i'll publish it for real! it's geared to children, but anyone who has gone through feelings of worthlessness should hear it. God truly cares for you, it doesn't matter what it gains or costs him.

   Once apon a time there was a beautiful princess.

This princess had a beautiful crown,

Until a big scary dragon stole it from her.

Since she didn’t have her crown anymore, the princess didn’t feel worthy to be a princess anymore.

So she set out on a quest to find her crown.

She went to the hall where the knights eat and drink. “is my crown here?”

“no, but there are fizzy drinks that make you feel happy. There’s plenty for you!”

The princess curtsied and left to keep searching.

She came to the scholars library. “is my crown here? “

“no, but there are books that fill your head instead”

She walked for a very long time and found a lion’s den.

 “is my crown in here?” she asked.

“no, but there are some mean lions that like to eat princesses”

The princess did not like that idea, and left the den quickly.

She went to the dark forest. “is my crown in here?”

“no, but there are some sleepy bats. You could stay here if you like”

“no thank you.”

The princess continued through the forest to a town with a very busy market place.

“is my crown here?’’ she asked a stall owner.

“No, but I can sell you things that will make that crown seem useless!”

The princess shook her head and continued on, but it was getting dark and she had lost her way.

When she found the gate she stopped to talk to the singer at the wall.

“have you seen my crown?”

“no, but I can make you laugh, and forget about the crown for a while”

“no thank you. Do you know where the castle is?”

The singer pointed the way, and the princess set off for home.

She walked for a very long time.

When she got near enough she could see the castle, Her father came out of the gate running towards her! When the king reached her, he gave her a big hug and said…

“my daughter, I know the awful dragon stole your crown. When you left, I still loved you.

So I went and found the dragon. I killed it, and brought you back the crown. “

The king placed the crown back on the princesses head.

“you are a princess not because you have a crown, but because you are my daughter. You will always be worthy.”

Hunting

Once again, I'm sorry for the blog staying updateless. My fault, no valid reason, only lame excuses. 

The last few weeks I've been feeling much better. The stones are gone and it seems like the infection and exhaustion are headed out too. Praise the lord! 

The good thing about being um... Indisposed this summer is I had a lot of time to do things like art and Internet courses. I'm really praying and looking hard for a job, and weighing my options of moving, but it's been a slow and frustrating go. If you'd like to pray for that I would be eternally thankful! 

The downside of this downtime is I'm getting restless. Now that I'm getting much better I feel restless. Is much rather do something. Travel, work, crossfit (lol no.) unfortunately, I realize that restlessness takes its toll on my spirit. I have time to read and pray and really wait on God, but the humanity in me wants to game or take a walk or anything other than that. I want to be near to God , but I don't want to seek him out. Lots of people do that in relationships everywhere, but it isn't healthy for any relationship. Especially when that relationship is as important as your God, or your best friend, or your wife. I suppose I best sit down and do a heart checkup instead of looking online for more and more jobs. I need to move forward, yes. And handing out resumes to 20 plus places and phone calls, and book publishers, and school upgrades are all very good, but I also need to be ok where I'm at. I've always wanted to do more than I alone am capable of. So my prayer is this. God, you know my path. Show me the map please, I've had a long enough pit stop. Whenever you're ready I guess :)

Healthy as a... Sad little sloth.

I've been home since June. So far I've passed kidney stones three times since April, and had at least 5 infections. I have also learned I have a low risk heart issue, and still have no energy. And now I also have a cold. 

Those are all the fun things that people should know, but I really don't like repeating it, because to me, I sound like I'm complaining. In truth, I also work too hard instead of rest and I just want to get better. Prayer for health would be great :)

Despite me being a sickie, life goes on

and lots has happened. Benji came to visit, so we went to jasper, wowed him with eternal ice glaciers, the west Edmonton mall, and had fun in general. I frequented in napping.

Our uncle also came out and we did some house fixes that were desparately needed. 

Life has not been bad, but I'm really praying for a job, and health. I would very much like to move out soon. 

Even though I'm not liking this forced rest, God always knows what he's doing.

 

lackluster clockwork

My blog is late, and as always, my excuse is lackluster. I am human and i get sick every summer like clockwork apparently.
July and June have been very busy, with me getting over jet lag, sleeping off kidney stones, allergy reactions and plain old exhaustion, but I'm getting better. I have a bit more energy (if I am careful) and every weekend has something amazing in store.
A few weeks ago I caught up with my childhood best friend, going to the river in  the freezing wind (Canada, I'm not used to this anymore! be nice!) and scoring a call-in job at a coffee shop that makes great Italian cream sodas.
 The next week was a Smith family reunion. Relatives, baked beans, stories of my embarrassing antics as a kid, and missionary stories from a cousin that went to the same YWAM base as me 13 years ago were the staples. its amazing to see what God can do in a family as big as ours, and I pray every day He keeps doing more.
This coming week Shyrrelle graduates, next week I'm spending time in the city with my Aunt, the week after that is a Lee family reunion, and after that Benji is coming out from Norway! So tell me
How is that rest the doctor and the bible talk about even a thing? Oh well. The Lord sustains me, and my mom kicks me back to bed if I need it.
I've been using as much spare time as i can to work on my painting. I love it and always have, but the last couple years ive been so busy, it gets neglected. I thrive off intelligence and creativity, so painting and music and reading have been a wonderful healing tool. if God speaks so much out of the Arts, I am constantly covered with His voice.

welcome wherever

I am now back, safe at my parents house after an uneventful trip.  I miss the base and my friends already, writing sad leaving songs on post it notes and quests to find the best chips (fries) and hanging out in the cafe. YWAM was an amazing time in my life, and I'm sure i'll see a few of them again, but not soon enough. My health  is a bit better, the kidney stones seem to have passed into the bladder, so they ll be gone soon i hope.

I've realized i have become acultural, meaning i don't really have a culture. I take slang from Australia, pair it with some japanese greetings and norwegian insults, and finish up with some canadian accent. I have to get used to this house again, my families weird schedule, trying to keep myself busy and rest, and get over jet lag. as much as i love my family, it doesnt feel like home here anymore. I'm not sure where that is though. what is home? if it's where my heart is can it be somewhere i have never been? I would love to keep in contact with all you in AU or elsewhere, so skype, facebook, and email are great. kynyalee@gmail.com for anyone that wants it :) 

As for finances, I'm in a bit of debt for doctors and things, but I'm sure ill be ok. Your prayers are much appreciated. 

This month I'll be resting, July ill be connecting with my family and friends here, and august hopefully Benji will visit, but I'm keeping an eye out for jobs in the film or coffee industry, and I'm still planning to move to Vancouver in a couple months/years but for now, rest. 

this video is one i made, hopefully it works for you guys. 

A final farewell to my home of many moons

I'm leaving on monday. It's a lot to think about, especially because its a month early. After two months of fighting illness and fatigue, i finally decided it is time to come back and rest. But even though i'm excited to see my family and my country again, i have a lot of memories from nearly two years here. Those crazy DTS dance parties, the street evangelism confusion, the nights i spent staring at the stars instead of homework, the insanity of SDF and all the passion and knowledge that came with it. and all the memories and joy that resulted from the Barista interns. I'm going to miss coming in late from deep conversations, or seeing miracles of provision for those ive come to love. I might even miss the roomies, however not the lack of sleep they cause ;P 
A lot of people have been passing on messages asking what my plans are, and i have a rough idea, but i prefer to keep it to myself. however, this summer is one of rest. rest in its many forms. possibly in the form of sunbathing and netflix. the last time i had this much time to reflect i think i was 13, and i've changed a lot since then, and i need a refresher with God. 
I'm also hoping to make contact with my church again, because even though i do update (admittedly less than i did a year ago) unless you talk face to face, we forget whats going on in peoples lives. 
Saying goodbye is hard. im still not feeling well, but now that im leaving everyone wants to hang out, and so do i but its tiring! its just a reminder. if you love someone, dont forget to say it to thier face as often as you can, because one day you might realise you dont have much time left. but there's always skype, email, facebook, snapchat and a ton of other ways. 
thinking of that, if you want to talk to me then Kynyalee@gmail.com is a great place to start ;) i do love you all. goodbye for now, and goodbye YWAM.

little taste of heaven

My outreach, instead of of Peru, is Cup from Above in Aspley. Local, if you count an hour bus ride as local. That's if you don't miss your stop. I frequently do, so I always start out very early. CFA is in a very sketchy part of Brissy, and is geared towards getting homeless people off the street and giving them good life skills. In the last few days, I have re-covered chairs, built custom plant pots, made and hung curtains made from burlap coffee bags, taught a homeless gentleman coming off a drug high how to sew,and not made a single coffee, among other things. I'm really enjoying everything except the transit and the tiredness that follows. And the fact I feel like I always need a weapon. But the rest is great! Tomorrow, i'm going in to the doctors to find out what's up with the ultrasound for my kidneys. I really hope all the stones are gone. Please pray for my health and finances, if either one of them don't change soon, I may have to head home early. Thank you all so much. You are all very dear to my heart!

My organs are stoners

More specifically, my kidneys. I go along my life, taking care of all the hospitality of the cafe, making sure life behind the scenes runs smoothly and we all have clean aprons, but slowly, my body gets sick. my moods are moodier, my pains are a pain in the back, and I go to the doctors, after weeks of putting it off. Yes, they say. An infection and kidney stones.
    Moving along, that complicated finances, spending 200$ I needed for school already, as well as adding insurance claims and exhaustion to my already busy life. I passed one in the middle of a prayer meeting, taking up all the time we were supposed to be praying about other things, and ended up passed out on the floor. Ow. and it's not over. I still have stones, and I need an ultrasound, but I'm not sure I have the finances for it. So please, don't just pray, donate too.
      I need 1300$ for base fees, and more than that for my ticket home. This also means I'm not going to Peru. It's really sad and frustrating to me that my own health and finances have held me back from doing the work God has called me to. I try to be in a good mood, and I truly love what I'm doing here, with all the personal relationships with Christ I am in, and the people I am ministering to, but it's hard to stay optimistic when I'm in pain and scarcely afford the treatments. And yet, God has set me here for a reason, and I'm going to do it, even if it means a lot of naps in between.
     Instead of going to Peru and helping the backpacking evangelism there, I'll be staying in Australia working at a church affiliated coffee shop, where if an emergency arises, I can get healthcare. I really wish the money had come in, and that my health was better, but I want to give my full self to wherever God has in mind. I also have a possibility to help take care of the children of post-partum depression diagnosed moms, and that's exciting, I love kids and I miss the ones at my old church a lot. (shout out to you beautiful kiddos!)
  This week specifically, I'm running an art auction as a fundraiser for the cafe itself, and its crew. We are all long term missionaries, and we've all been in the field for at least a year, most of us much longer. But it's very hard for long term missionaries to provide for themselves, because we have dedicated our lives to God and other people instead of jobs. and being a missionary isn't a job you can just take time off of. its a constant pouring out to others. even when you're home, you're still working, and constantly feel pulled to other people, other places. I guess its similar to being a single mom.
    I constantly miss my family, and my boyfriend, but I know I'll miss this place too, when I'm gone. I savour it while I can. when I'm in Evansburg, I'll savour that, when I find a new place,(I always do) I'll love that one too. It's very true when I say my home is not on earth. Thank you all for constantly praying, those of you who donate, giant thanks and many tears of gratitude to you. You may literally be a life saver. Please keep in contact, Email me at kynya@goywam.com or kynyalee@gmail.com, friend me on facebook, follow The Meeting Place Cafe,
 and donate to me at  https://secure.goywam.com/home/donations/donate-to-a-staff-member/
I would love to hear from you. I'm not just saying that. sometimes living life with so many people is lonely. I love you guys.

Love where you are at.

So, the guy speaking today said something that really stuck out to me today, and he said "love where you're at in the present or else you'll never be happy with the future." And so I got thinking. I'm not content where I am. I want to go to Peru, I want to finish the course, I want to see my family, and i constantly look to the future or the past.  I decided I need to focus on what I love right now, and what I'm learning. Today, I went for coffee with the TMPC crew, and we laughed and told stories. I talked to Kassia, and encouraged each other. Right now, I have the chance to get to know my wonderful boyfriend from far away, without the little annoyances that might pop up later. Its cool outside, so I get to wear sweaters, which I love. I'm seeing God provide, Slowly, but surely. I'm living in Australia, discovering new things and skills, and I have time to reflect on God. This is all happening now. and I love it. I'm going to remember what I love about this moment, but mostly what i love about God. He doesn't just give up. That's a really good thing, because I am hard headed.
Right now, I need 5000$. Well, I know i am a hard worker, and God pays a fair wage. I'm so glad I have the support of my friends and family, and I want to make the investment into me worth it, because God's work is always worth it.

Love changes everything, and whats up with Peru?

Where are you going on outreach? What are you doing with your life for the next three months? You mean you're not doing it as a vacation?
These questions will be answered, and they will be answered now!
As we, the TMPC crew prepare and work in the chaos of Porchlight sessions, we receive strange messages. Some, in the form of a text, many in the form of a letter, and throughout the night, actual letters. Put together, these letters came to spell one word-P E R U. Our outreach location. We, as weary as we were from the night, danced and cheered, and began to plan. Jake, Kalli and I will be going to help train and work with our sister cafe in Cuzco, near the mountains. This is part of the practical side of the internship, teaching the guys in Peru what we've learnt about managing a cafe, as well as being part of sharing Jesus Christ where we can. I'm very excited, and I fully believe the money I need to go as well as go home will come in, even though it's scary for me not to be in control of it. God is a generous God, and my friends and family take care of me.
The entire YWAM base also just finished a stint running one of Australia's largest christian music festivals, Easterfest. Yeah, moshing with Tasman Jude or seeing my friends perform on a huge stage was cool, but watching someones leg grow out after I prayed, or someone coming to realize Jesus loved him even though he's a drug addict and believes he doesn't deserve it, that's the beautiful part. the unfortunate parts were the rain. rain that made ants shelter their eggs in my bag, rain that made shoes so wet and tents so wet I currently have a cold. Yet, rain brought people to shelter in the Chai tent and allowed them to have a Chai, a conversation, and hopefully a bit closer to God's love. Because love changes everything, even through the rain.
    I've been told a few people are hoping for a tax deductible receipt, and unfortunately if you've already given, I don't think I can do much other than say to email accounts@goywam.com and ask, but if you would like to donate, you can go to https://secure.goywam.com/home/donations/donate-to-a-staff-member/ and ask for a receipt. Thank you all so much! if you'd like to get in touch, find me on Facebook or email kynya@goywam.com. I love talking to you guys! It makes me miss home just a little less.

the ill finished video

Making a video, even a minute long one is hard work. especially if you are out of practice and unprepared. However, I am uploading my attempt, because i did a three person job by myself in a small amount of time. a better one is coming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL4pzDseYcA
In other news, God is beginning a breakthrough season! finances, dreams and healing has been so cool to see around here, and God speaks through everything. I love you all and miss you! contact me at kynya@goywam.com or donate here at  https://secure.goywam.com/home/donations/donate-to-a-staff-member/

media queen?

       A month in to the internship already, and I have done accounting, finances, fundraising and movie making. And again on my month of media, I will be moviemaking. BOOYEAH. This month is a huge fundraising push for both the cafe, Kalli and I. In order to get the new Espresso machine we desperately need, we need about 4000$. In order for me to go on outreach/get home, I need about 4000$, and in order for Kalli to do the same, she needs around 7000$. the plight of many missionaries is that their full time job is unpaid. Hence the fundraising. However, God works in mysterious ways. Also through the internet. Next time I update, I might just post a video!
    In other news. the last few weeks have been challenging, saying goodbye to some of my closest friends, who have become somewhat family,(or whom I am dating, but that's only one person :P) It's always hard to say goodbye, but I know someday I will see them again, be it Australia, USA or Heaven.
 I've taken over the Media area of the cafe, which means I am on the search for local talent, beautiful TMPC coffee pictures and stories from our regulars. I'm going to try and do a 'humans of New York ' feel.I love this job because connecting is one of the best things a cafe can do. We have a lot of great people around this place.
In Bible study, my sister told me to read Exodus and look at promises. I realised while reading Moses' story, God put to rest the doubts of God's loyalty and Character, he reassured the outcome, the miracles, the people he was working for, and yet, moses still struggled. Not because of the task, not because of God, but because of him. Moses wasnt sure he had the capability to lead, the words to speak, or the power to move a nation. And yet, God did a thing, and all of Isreal was set free. It's not you, It's God's work through you. it isn't possible for you to stand in God's way. He'll pick you up and carry you to your destination instead, it might just be a bit more challenging. For you, not God. God did what he promised, and more.

Contact me
Kynya@goywam.com

Donate:
https://secure.goywam.com/home/donations/donate-to-a-staff-member/

check out the cafe:
https://www.facebook.com/YWAMMeetingPlace?ref=br_tf

check out our base:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/YWAM-Brisbane/217491788306172?ref=br_tf

faith call

My weekly blog has turned to a monthly blog. because busy :)
The last few weeks have been full of learning. I am currently in charge of the finances in TMPC, our cafe. its a lot o ordering, inventory and math. I don't really care for math, but I see the worth in learning this, so its been good.  I've also had the opportunity to have a lot of fun. I led "family time" which is basically a breakfast bible study, and Benj' is back so I'm going out and doing crazy things like going on my very first Ferris wheel ever, or to a crazy museum display. He treats me really well, for those wondering. God has been teaching me a lot about faith lately. Just remembering he always takes care of his own :) In the middle of a staff meeting someone had back pain, so they were prayed for and their leg grew an inch and popped into place. boom, just like that. Not even a big deal for God! It really encourages me, because I'm still in need for the finances to finish the internship and to go home. If you guys want to help with that the link is https://secure.goywam.com/ and donate to staff. (remember my name.) If you ever want to talk, connect or anything, send me a message at kynya@goywam.com. I really miss home somedays, so I would love to hear from you :) no, really. make contact! ET phones home, so home can call him back. love you all!

welcome to the life of a certified, yet student barista.

The 

The last week has been full. Mostly full of exploring and learning.
I am a week into my internship,and still praying God will provide the finances for the rest of it. Working here has been really good though!
The first day the whole cafe crew went out to our fearless boss' place and ate brilliant food, talked, told stories and laughed.  It seems that our group is very high on the sass scale, so I really don't think I will ever be bored around here. I have been working quite a few shifts and i'm getting quite good at thickshakes, even inventing my own!
     Another thing the Cafe does is  open house mic night called Porchlight sessions. The first Porchlights session was amazing, with our musicians really bringing down the house.   Yesterday we all went to Bellisimos to learn how to make proper coffee. I never knew how important grind and pressure and timing is! We practiced Latte art, foaming milk, making a good shot and.... whipping each other with towels. I have also learned to open and close, to clean the machine, and memorized all the table numbers.
     Every time we go out to pick things up for the cafe, we try to seek out a cafe to get inspired by. There's one in fortitude that looks so beautiful, but its so hipster it's impossible to find, and when you do it's closed. Aptly named the lost boys cafe.  The little corners of Brisbane are so pretty to walk around anyways!
I would love it so much if you guys could visit, but for now, a bit of a visual tour will do.

Our cafe hours

My first attempt at latte art

The Zine corner

Frothing practice

The barista class!

TMPC decor

My desk

The boss :)

Porchlights (rights for this one go to Sarina)

perpetual motion

      Isn't it beautiful that we are in constant motion? Even when we stay still, our mind whirs, heart pumps, lungs pulse and blood courses through our veins, and out stomach flutters. You can't simply turn it on and off, because we are a machine of motion started at birth. when you stop moving, you stop living. your soul and mind in conjunction with your body. we have an inexplicable desire and ability to love and create. our very existence is a near unstoppable dance.