the cute little version of part of my testimony

My parents were very loving and taught me about who God is, and I wanted to tell people about him even when I was very little.  I told my mother I was going to be a mssionarry in Japan when I was six!

When I was eight, My mother decided to teach me at home. I thought I had good friends, but when I stopped going to school, they started to make fun of me and be very mean. I felt very alone, and I thought that what they said was true. I didn't think I was beautiful, or worth being loved. At thirteen many things happened all at once to make me very depressed. I would often hide in my room for days, and the only good thing I would do is draw, because it was the only safe way to let my emotions out. I didn't want to feel, because feeling hurt. I wondered why, if God loved me, would things like this happen? Even though I still believed God was real, I didn't care about him, because I couldn't hear him speaking to me. Then someone asked if I wanted to come to a christian concert. There were many people speaking, And one of them had no arms and no legs. I don't remember all of what he said, but I thought, “If God can love that man, with no arms or legs, and if He can do good things for God, So can I. I remembered the bible verse Jeremiah 29:11-12.(read out the verse?) God had plans for me! I was worth something! I held on to that bible verse. It said that even though God's chosen people were having a very hard time, and they were hurting, One day God would heal them and bring them back home.

I was still  depressed, but now I had hope, and I knew there was a reason I was alive. When I was 15 I went to work with children that had no home or sometimes no parents. I felt that God was calling me to help people like those ones again, Just like I wanted to when I was little. I worked with those kids for four years, and then felt like God was calling me to go to Australia to study the bible, and how to use art to reach people. I didn't want to, because my art was very close to me, and I didn't show anyone, because I thought it wasn't a worthy way to spend my time. But God kept telling me to go, and so I did. In Australia, I learned so much about God's love, and plan for me. I healed a lot, and learned I could trust God, and I could trust people. I met genuine Christians, who were willing to love God no matter what. They wanted to share God's love in everything they did! I started showing people my art, And I prayed for God to be able to use it to bring the world hope. I didn't really see the worth in my art yet.  My art teacher encouraged me to do big things with my art. I was so afraid! But as I let God use my art, I began to see how it shows God. God can use any skill, if you let him! The hardest thing was to draw myself. The first time, I drew a very ugly person. The second time, I drew a person who was searching for something. The third time, I drew a person who was beautiful. She looked like she knew God loved her!

When my Australia team found out we were going to Japan, I was so excited! We prayed, and God gave us a picture of a red balloon.  To me, the red balloon means being filled with Hope. Not from what you can see, but from Jesus Christ. That, with God, we can rise higher than the things that hold us down. And that God gives us the ability to have joy even when the world seems dark. The red balloon is a reminder of who God is, and how much he loves us. It may take time, but prayers really do get answered.

   Having God means that I have hope, and that I always have him with me. . I’m not saying everything will be easy when you follow Him, far from that! But life is always better  with God. His idea of what’s best and our idea of what’s best are very different. No matter what you have done, no matter how much you think God should not love you, you can still come back. He has a purpose, and sometimes the bad things in your life shape you to be used by God for something better in the future of his Kingdom.  Look for him, search for him, and you will find him. He makes that a promise. Galatian 6:9 tells us that when things are hard, when Jobs are stressful, when friends and family leave, don't give up God's work. He loves you, and your life has a great plan to build the kingdom of heaven. God can use anything you can do, and even if you don't thing you can do anything, He knows what you can do. He loves you anyways!  

reminiscence and profundity part 2

 When I thought of the Joshua verses 'Be strong and courageous, I always took that as a 'Don't fall apart', push through and don't let people see you struggle. But I never thought about the second part. "For I, The Lord your God is with you. " He isn't saying hold yourself together, he's saying we have the God of the universe on our side to rely on. Sometimes, being strong could mean doing the hard thing and being vulnerable, and trusting God with what giant walls you face.  -Joshua 1:9

   (I was going to add a story about how the world without creativity and colour would be, but it's too long.)

      Japan has stolen part of my heart in these six weeks. I will miss the softness of the trees, politeness, the Sakura celebration, the brightness of the pinks and blues. I think of the kids I worked with, The dancers by the city hall, the toddlers building blocks and painting. I remember octopus balls, Bento boxes, trains as packed as sardines, and too many pigeons. The Hollands, who blessed us so much during our stay, and the reason why the song Total Eclipse of the Heart will never be the same! Constant selfies documenting our travels, umbrellas, bikes and rain. Masks and walking EVERYWHERE, and general confusion of the language.
    God has taught me that I am capable of much more than I thought, less capable than I could be, that I need to rely on him, and the biggest thing, Missions is all about relationship. work to the exclusion of people is wrong, and God needs to be the forefront.
Art, however self conscious I may be about it, is a powerful tool. One that speaks without words.
     Also, leaving. yeah, leaving is hard, and being left hurts,  but it's a blessing to know the people and places, and hold God's creation close to your heart. Our capability to love grows with our efforts to use it. Dream big, its ok to expect a lot when God partners with you. Stare at the clouds! why keep your feet on solid ground when you can soar around the world and make memories and change lives in entirely new cultures?
ah, the melancholy feelings of leaving one place, and heading to another! Watching a plane take off, a train depart, packing that last thing in a suitcase bound for who knows where! Kimonos? A stop in Korea, a dip in the sunshine coast... what else does God have planned? I am truly blessed to be in the service of this great God who created this! there are cons though. confusion, not fitting in, constantly leaving, not being understood, being broke or exhausted.But my strength comes from the Lord, I am destined for something better than this world, I am always making new friends and stories. I can always trust God's provision.
I feel like I am becoming more of who I am meant to be. I'm not who I was a year ago, or even a week ago. every minute past presents a new challenge I am to conquer.

reminiscing and profoundly tired thoughts (part one)

"I will hold you together. It is my strength not yours, that keeps you from getting lost, falling apart, getting ragged. the buttons you find on the ground, on trains, and in the obscure corners are my reminder to you that you can rely on me. I am with you. I will keep you warm, provide for you, and be your joy. I found you, and you are not a lost button." - The Button promise, Kynya Lee

  "Every motion I make is perpetuated by another’s will. I do not know the meaning of choice. The master pulls a string, I move. This is life. In my mind, a series of stories in which I am a player run circles. My thoughts never vary, and I will never revise them, for they are not my own.  I am fed what to do, where to go, what to say. I am a fool, and I care not of consequence. I have no emotion other than what the master tells me to feel. There is no pain, yet I have never felt joy.  I am wood. I am dead. I am a marionette.

       You! You of flesh and blood! You of thought and soul! You, with the power of choice and imagination! Be life! Formed by the Giver of Life, with the miracle of free will, be not like me! Do not be deceived by the show of whirling forms around you! They have no choice, no life, no thought to their next move, they are controlled by a power that is even less than the one you hold! Walk out of that puppet show of lies and complacency! What does the mind, the body, the emotion or the soul profit you if you do not exercise the right? Go and live!

    so I walked out of the puppet play of Media, of what is smart, of what makes money. I entered a life where the only known was the unknown. Anything could happen, and I chose it myself.  I will not be controlled by the things others say. I have cut the strings, and given them to the Almighty Creator. I choose to know sorrow, and I also know Joy. , I am Real, I am Alive, I am Free.

        And I bow as the curtains close behind me." -The show, Kynya Lee

"After the deepest winter, after the coldest nights, I will give you a fragile beauty. It will notlast forever, but it will not fail to come again. It is my promise, a promise of fruit and sunshine to come, that I will not fail. Imagine this with me. If this inconstant beauty gives you joy after the frost, how much more will the trees of eternity be, after death? Your world is a shadow, this fragile beauty is a glimpse ofwhat is to come and is at this moment being formed by my hand. you are a mirror reflection of me, imperfect and scratched. But look towards eternity, continue without fear, for now is a phantom world. Your pain won't last. the winter will come to an end, like Eternal Cherry blossoms. 

- spring's reminder, Kynya Lee

cherry blossom season

Japan is beautiful in spring. the trees come alive, the clouds disappear, and Team Japan heads out to hand out fliers and get lost on trains. yeah, it happened a few times.
We just finished our time with the English school, teaching, fliering, and stapling our days away.   Our contact is really good at making things fun though, even if handing out fliers isn`t my top pick job. we have performed for a church, who was so hospitable they did American style BBQ for us! it was so much fun to meet the young people of the church. It seems like the dads are the matchmakers over here though...
Last weekend we joined the
 Tokyo YWAM base for street outreach,  talking to local people, an worshipping God. It started out quietly, but ended off with a dance circle to some great Japanese/English praise! our team has learnt three more Japanese songs in the last week as well. Thanks youtube!
    on our day off the staff decided they were tired, so Em, Daniel and I went to Hirajiku by ourselves. the most trouble we got in is the fact that we couldn't find our train, so the machines kinda ripped us off... we were good students. ;) Hirajiku is like the fashion insanity paradise of Japan. thrift shops and Cosplay abound!
   we are also working on a couple videos, so I hope I can post them one day.
Next week we are working with a different school, and it will be a finale to our Japan trip. I have only been here a short while, but it may have stolen part of my heart. one week until Australia, seven until home. It makes me think. What`s the next step? where is God going to lead me next? How am I going to fit that Kimono in my suitcase?!

broken silence

I'm writing a story. I can always create the world, the people, and the problem, but the world's answer eludes me. ARGH! This story (so far) is about a monochrome world, where creativity is outlawed in order to prevent war. (No ideas, no war right?) bring in the travelling Bards, storytelling grandmother and the leader of the Red Rebels who dream of beauty....

   The last weeks have been super busy with helping the ARK English school. We have handed out a lot of flyers, and eventually made it a game how many times people would reject the flyers before someone takes one.
 Next week we are helping out with a kids kindergarten, and I get to fingerpaint!!!!
Today Team Japan went to he zoo, as well as did some filming. theres not a lot to say, because mostly, I tract and sleep. sorry!

Dragging our suitcases through Tokyo cuz that's how we roll.

      Outreach has been good, and a lot of work is put into it, but I aim to bring joy, hence the bad joke.
Our last week on Osaka was full of youth outreach which involved dances, street evangelism, large amounts of participating in selfies, and no small amount of struggling to learn more Japanese. I forgot some already!
It was great to see how much God can do in just a few weeks. At first it seemed our contacts weren't quite sure to do with a MAD team, but God opened doors to youth, churches and the community in crazy ways! I found it a bit hard to get my bearings in it though, because I'm not a performer, so being onstage is hard, but not having a place onstage when the rest of the team does is equally frustrating. I have taken my role of Intercessor, as well as onstage art sometimes. It's hard to bring such large paper when your way of getting around is walking, and a train like a sardine can!
Before we left Osaka, we walked to Kyoto in the footsteps of two famous missionaries, and visited some of the shrines. I won't be going to shrines again, they hurt!
     We travelled by bullet train to Tokyo two days ago. everything is noisy, full of people, and lights dazzle you every corner. It's beautiful and I love it so much! The first thing we did here was learn some Japanese worship songs, and sing them at Shibuya Harvest that evening. After that we cleaned toilets. We never had time for lunch, and we finally got to having dinner around 10 pm. Pizza that night was the most amazing thing I tasted, simply because it was long anticipated. (I had wanted pizza since BEFORE outreach and never bothered to order it, because I don't want to waste money on things I don't really need. That didn't deter me from buying green tea KitKats though! they were cheap.)
    The next four weeks we are looking forwards to teaching English classes, doing some church work and performance, and there's always the element of surprise.
The family we are staying with are personal friends, and it's so nice to be in a home setting again! I have heard that they are a bit famous in Christian sphere in Japan, which makes sense, because right now the Dad is doing a crosswalk walking across America. Yup.
Our team is getting closer it seems, and hardly a day goes by without Daniel taking a picture of his food, Me coming up with a new way to mess up my words, and all of us in random outbursts of song and dance.
Our biggest prayer is that we would stay healthy, and that we would we be given the right heart and words to reach the ones God loves. Which is everyone BTW.
Japan has been good to me so far, And I really believe I grow so much every time I travel elsewhere. This is what I want to spend my life doing!

week one in Japan!

     I have no pictures to show. It's quite sad, because I would love to keep all the things I see clear, in picture form.
   This week we have been focusing a lot on art, music, and dance outreach.  We held a meeting at a local church and performed various skits and dances, and I have begun to use large scale art in stage performance and street evangelism. I d I have begun to use large scale art in stage performance and street evangelism. I never thought art was actually a tool for God to use, but people beeline to beautiful things! I have started a series based on a red balloon in a grey world to symbolise hope. It goes along with my testimony. To me, the red balloon means being filled with Hope. Not from what you can see, but from Jesus Christ. That, with God, we can rise higher than the things that hold us down. And that God gives us the ability to have joy even when the world seems dark. The red balloon is a reminder of who God is, and how much he loves us.
   I have gained so much respect for my pastor though the recent experiences, I didn't realise how hard giving a testimony or a sermon was! I get pretty nervous beforehand, but I realise God is with me, and then the only thing on my mind is "People need to know this! They need to understand how great God's love is!' and everything turns out fine.
   We have been helping out the local pioneering churches(most churches in Japan ARE pioneering.)  Japan has a tradition of young dancers practicing in front of windows of the city council buildings,and so we have a chance to talk to dancers on the streets, as well as teach and learn some dance steps. Yesterday was really interesting, because in Japan, there is no "Oh no, what if I offend them?" when it comes to evangelism. As our team was haltingly talking in english to a group of JR. High boys, one of the church ladies starts talking to them  in rapid Japanese. Then she turns to us and says " I told them you were Christian missionaries from Australia, and if they had any questions about God, you could answer them. Would you like to talk to them one on one?" we were a bit stunned on both sides, Kids and first time missionaries!
      we have also been drinking lots of tea, bearing the cold to tract at train stations, and eating a lot of rice.
The first week, we bought a really big bag of rice because it was on sale. A few days later our hosts bought us a big bag. The next day, the church we were performing at gave us two shopping bags full! We have rice almost every meal, but it's ok, because the green tea that we drink with it helps. We have tried Mochi (green tea rice candy) Natto, which is moldy beans... uhm yeah. Stomach of steel over here had a hard time keeping that down! It's an acquired taste.
   We may not have a lot of down time, but we make use of what we do. We went and saw Hideyoshi's castle in Osaka, and as we were walking through  the cherry trees, we got to talk to a guy from Sweden about God. We really stand out in Japan, so people are either drawn to us, or try to walk around us.
   Seeing into people's lives around the city has been sad. They are wonderful people, very polite, but sometimes it seems hollow. They won't steal your wallet if you forgot it, but they also won't return it to you. They are dependant on their friends and Jobs, but won't let many others in to their self contained world. I think much of the world is like this. It's sad to think that even though the Japanese people are always smiling, they have the highest suicide rate in the world. I so want God to use me to bring hope and Joy, because sometimes, what looks like happiness is a facade.
   The second week is looking to be even more full of trains, churches, and walking, and after that Team Japan is off to Tokyo!  If you guy's want more info than my insight, check out Team Japan 2014