The Barista Internship

     As you know, I am working/volunteering/studying hard at YWAM Brisbane right now.
The next thing on the horizon is the Barista internship. I realize I have been vague, and shall remedy such an error in this post.
What is this strange.... internship?
       It begins with work. I will be learning how to run a business, all the buying, selling, papery, financy things that go into running a cafe, or running business for that matter, I'm doing it. Because I don't know really what goes into it, I can't explain it. Therefore, the internship lecture phase. We will have classes on this, and put into practice as we work in the Meeting Place Cafe here on base.
Missions, outreach and community: this is a big one. I will be learning God's place in the work industry, and acting it out by helping in schools, running open mic nights, media reach and other networking skills. We will also have an outreach phase, where we will help out another upcoming cafe somewhere in the world.
       Coffeemaking: pretty simple, That huge red esspresso machine that fascinates me so gets some use. Cappuccinos, Mochas, Thickshakes and all the rest of the brilliant coffee related stuff.
        Now why am I doing this? I think I have a lot to give in this area, as well as a lot to learn. I can take the business part and do anything. I can take the community part and help out at church or something. I can take the coffee part and get a job. But I have always wanted to run a coffee shop, filled with coffee, art, life and hope. I really think there is a call in this world for a relaxed place just to be. A safe place for kids whose homes might be torn apart. A solace. a place to have fun and express yourself with art and food.one that feels like a friend.  right now it's a dream, one that DTS and SDF as well as this all work towards. I want my cafe to be a reality, and I need your help. please go to https://secure.goywam.com/ and donate to a student, and remember to write me name. thank you so much!

Boxing day Boxeroos

First I would like to say I am terribly apologetic for the unfortunate lack of communication. It isn't even that I have been overwhelmingly busy, I just forgot.
This month I have been volunteering at the YWAM kitchen, helping budget, plan and prepare meals. It has been good to rest and take a short break (still working, but much less) but I already miss set life! It's been almost two months since grad, and I miss those who have left a lot. I also really miss my family. It's been two Christmases without them, so I am definitely going to be in the country for 2015. Or at least that's my plan. God has different ones quite frequently.
This Christmas was a lot of fun, but it still has a tint of loneliness.  I went to a friends place and about 15 of us had an amazing pool party, complete with BBQ everything and a movie to end the night. we told stories about our family traditions, played games, laughed and had really long naps. The heat takes a lot out of you! I've also done a lot of Skype. Thank God for internet!
This year was the first time I ever went Boxing day shopping, and hopefully also the last. Why? At first it started because I wanted to see the Hobbit. LOL nope, its been sold out for days! Ok, then I shall have to make use of my time. I need various things, may as well get them while Im here.... The thing is Australia is very bogan. (redneck) so as I stand in line, wrinkly sunburnt ladies in bikinis and old dudes without shoes yell and fight the lines for what they want. after a few hours of standing in line and wondering why anyone would wear a bikini to go shopping, I make my purchases (happily, for lines are over with and its cheaper) and run away to meet with friends for lunch. That was brilliant :)
The next few weeks, I am again working in the kitchen, and then still doing the Barista internship, which I shall explain at a later date.  I'm still trusting God to provide, but he did, he does and he always will.
Thank you guys so much for keeping me in your prayers, and remember that I constantly pray for you too. Please keep praying for my health, finances and relationships. I will try to update a little more often now. Merry Christmas!

hello again. one day i shall have news

 Hello dear friends and family! 

As you might know, I am currently in Australia, and just finished a filmmaking course.  I will be here at the YWAM base another eight months.

     For the next month I will be “mission Building”, helping in the kitchen, the new housing projects and kids ministry, and after that I will start a six month café internship. The internship focuses on business and how it works, as well as using it for God. The café itself is a donation based, community based meeting place, run completely by missionaries similar to me.  I will be doing a lot of community outreach during this. I really feel like God is placing me here, because my goal in life is to be able to reach out to inner city kids by giving them a safe place to come if home isn’t safe, and teaching art and life skills. The café will help reach this.

     However, I am technically and literally a missionary, and as much as this is God’s work, I have no way to support myself, and I would like to ask for your help. God always works through his people. You can donate at goywam.com and donate to a staff. Thank you so much already for your support in prayers!

My apologies for the length between posts

SDF is over. I'm graduated, with a huge wealth of knowledge, friends and memories.
Since i have talked you you last, we have ad special effects makeup training, advanced directing, distribution, spiritual warfare, shot or directed  11 short films, edited, did Foley, studied movies, did many many stories, essays and reports, had a premiere, and a sleepover. I shall expand on only one of these points.

The premiere: The night before, we were still frantically editing, and decorating, and deciding what to wear. the night of the premiere was wonderful! red carpet gig, everyone dressed up, watching all the hard work, sleepless nights and frustrations culminate into something we are all proud of. just seeing the passions of the staff, film students and actors was beautiful. I of course, have a favourite, but it's not mine. We celebrated by staying out all night, watching movies and chilling. we were up till the sun joined us.  The next day, uss girls went to our friendly neighbourhood Aussie actress' place and again, watched movies, swam in her pool (+42 degrees!) and basically had the best sleepover. the hardest thing was to say goodbye. half of our room and both boys left for home, some coming back, others not. I miss'em already.

The next couple months I need to really focus on fundraising, because, as you might know, I'm staying here with the cafe, learning to make coffee, reach out to the community, run a business, and one day, plant a youth outreach cafe of my own. (Maybe Vancouver?) I'm so glad for your prayers, and I wold be very appreciative of financial help. I still find it really hard to ask for help, but i'm sucking it up because God works through his people.  thank you again for supporting me.
https://secure.goywam.com/home/donations/donate-to-a-student/

Long time coming

Ok. I haven't been updating like I should, but I have valid excuses. ( nope, excused are not accepted here) last week we shot seven short films in nine days, and we were stressed, exausted and exhilarated. Then we came in to class, and boom! Instead of classes we have a 48 hour film to write,shoot, edit and produce! Life here is always an adventure, and I live on the learning curve. Most recently I've done sound. It kind of became my baby... I've done it on 7 sets now. The sas and sdf may possibly be sleep deprived, and our moods are way too heightened than normal. Bad jokes, flirting and gaff tape are staples. I have also been thinking of plans. The typical what's gonna happen after this kinda stuff. But right now I am content to hide under the table with the sound mixer. 

Quiche.

       This week has been a little different, with Charis talking about Greenlighting, which means getting all preproduction ready. Script, paperwork, people, paperwork, and everything else that needs to be done before we can actually start on the movie. it's been good, but it means although we have less reading homework or editing/practical homework, we rewrite our scripts at least once a day until it's perfect, or as close as it could be. We went location scouting as well, which was sweet. I'm trying to avoid using a hospital, and Proby and a bunch of others gave me such outrageous ideas, i did a mock rewrite for fun and sent it to them. I'm also working on two extra scripts and that kid's book. I still draw, it's my own personal time. 
       This weekend we  went to see the giver, and it was absolutely amazing. Highly recommended by me, even though it wasn't much like the book. The ones that went decided to try to put the word Quiche in our short stories, and convince the others to as well, so almost all of the SDF/SAS students tried to hide the word Quiche. At least one staff, possibly more, figured it out. Just the fact that we collaborated and created very differently on one key word, made it work and were inspired by eggs was awesome. What made it more awesome is the coincidence that that's what the kitchen cooked the day after we handed them in. I'm still not sure they weren't bribed.
       For industry connect we Skyped one of the speakers from the first week, but with a twist. Last time, His connection was super bad, and so as he was saying he hoped it would work this time, it cut out. One of our staff started playing with it as we roared with laughter of what we thought was irony, and then our speaker came in from the back door! We as students were totally not expecting out staff and speakers to pull that, so it was perfect! Poor guy got bombarded with questions though. Maybe thats not all a bad thing though. 
I've been pretty busy, but learning all this stuff has been good. I can't believe it's been a month!
      God's been teaching me a lot about loving hurting people, as well as relying on him for strength. Another really important thing is to spend time with him. Yeah, my schedule is crazy, but if I can make time for coffee, I can make time for God. He keeps me going even more so than caffiene ;)
No, honestly. God is the only reason I can keep going. there are days I'm just done and he finds a way to encourage me.  
   Thank you guys so much for your prayers! I will still need finances for some things, and I need clarity for what's next, but right now, I'm here, and I'm in God's hands and his will. I will revel in it and learn and be strong. That's what I'm good at. ;)

week three insanity

SDF is insanity. We have been learning story parts, formatting, camera parts, mic, lighting, tripod setup, worldview, lens , composition, focus, story writing, script revisions, editing, time management, and living off caffiene instead of sleep. I love it.

  I can't really say a whole ton about stuff I've been up to, mostly because I don't have time, and it's all running together.  Right now I'm working on the fourth revision of my script, and doing some practical shooting assignments. it's a regular occurrence i get to sleep late, but it's for a good cause. We also watch a lot of movies. 

Today was intersession and we prayed for Hollywood, and for the industry's  identity to be in God, not what they have or the amount of rejections they have been through. As much as we are extremely busy, we have fun too.  We watch movies, go out for coffee, laugh and joke around, ad lib, make bad puns, plan mustache nights and rename things.  I called a midwife for reference on my script, which is going to be crazy and awesome! 

I do have mydown moments, like the one where my email got hacked(which is now fixed) and the script I worked on till 2 didnt send. yikes! 

All in all it's been good so far. keep my energy and finances in your prayer! thank you all so much, and keep in contact!

Doing the thing

      A whole lot has happened the last week. As you may know, I came (went?) back to YWAM Brisbane to study digital filmaking and God in the movie industry. On my way there, a really cool thing happened and I met up with four others all headed to the same base! The trip was fairly uneventful other than that.
    This week I have been learning about Camera theory, physics and history of film, worldview portrayals and christian worldview in movies, working in the industry, high pressure jobs, story structure,aesthetics, proper etiquette, as well as pitching. Tomorrow I am pitching my first movie to the school staff, and if (when) I get greenlit I can tell you about it!
   This school is a very full, high pressure setting, but all the students and staff are hilarious and amazing. I'm beginning to learn which things to talk about in order to get certain speakers sidetracked, which is one of my favourite but ill afforded pastimes. Somedays we just get Jason to play short videos on the premise of camera or story styles. (check out Spider,should be on youtube) So many of us are full of ideas and silliness! There are days that we have a morning class, afternoon class, evening workshop, three chapters to read, a pitch to make, three short stories, two essays and various other duties, but we still somehow manage to watch extra movies and discuss worldview and the ethics of video.
  We also stil have movie nights, small group, 1on1s, coffee and somehow, food and sleep. it's an amazing experience so far. My favourite thing about this week is learning about how to be a christian in Hollywood and talking with Reba Rowe, who has worked on The Fringe, a few Peter Jackson movies etc. She posted a photo of us and a big name actor liked it, therefore provoking a few freakout sessions!  It's really important to know about the worldview portrayed in each film. I'm truly loving it, but it's a huge workload.
   It's good to see some of the people I really missed while I was home, but I do miss my family. I also struggle with only knowing part of the info. They got in a car crash, and now I know they are fine, but the first thing I heard were the words "head trauma" and I've been very occupied with those words since. It makes for good short stories though!
 In the next few weeks hopefully I will post a behind the scenes video and a short story. In the meantime, please pray for me! I'm going to be busy and tired, and I still don't have all the tuition. oh, and a bit of encouragement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

Back to the future

Part one: The best and worst of times.
       My last week of camp was Friday, and as well as i did holding myself together while camp was going all summer, saying goodbye for possibly the last time was hard. Its so hard to tell these kids everything's gonna be OK when you know it won't.  I love those kids. One of my littles accepted Jesus saying she's been going through some tough things, and even if Jesus doesnt take it away at least she doesn't have to go it alone. She understands more than most of us, and I agree.  No one should go it alone.
        Yet at the same time, we had so much fun! I got to teach Arts and crafts (chalk graffiti and paper airplanes with the boys :), Drama and wilderness. My cabin reinvented a running acting game, where everytime someone yelled an actors name, you had to react and do whatever you're doing in the actors style. Funniest choices? Kristen Stewart and Johnny Depp. Ever tried singing a funny song completely deadpan? It's HARD! We painted kittens (painting horses is too mainstream) and ended up giving ourselves food names. I am the magnanimous Pizzapaint. Which is by far the best nickname ever.
   For staff party after the kids left, as a last hurrah for summer, a bunch of us went to the waterpark in West Ed mall. Apparently I'm an adrenaline junkie because my favourite included the floor falling out from under me and a 360 vertical loop?
    My siblings and I also gave my parents a surprise "'Kynya's going away present.' A photographer friend came out to Brightwood and took pictures of all five of us and printed them on canvas for them, and they turned out amazingly. It's kind of hard for all five of us to dress up and disappear without arousing suspicion, but we made it!
PART TWO:Back to the future.
    I am in for a harrowing adventure once again, and once again, I am terrified and excited.
The difference is this time I have had very little time to prepare and I am short of money, but I know how to travel .
The things that are the same are I have no clue what I'm getting into, and I'm leaving for an unforeseen amount of time, and that God is going to take care of me. He always does.
 I'm flying out tomorrow, to begin my School of digital filmaking, which is learning the ins and outs of media and how to keep my faith in high pressure circumstances. Later on I want to go in for the upcoming Barista school as well, learning customer service and business management. I am so excited to learn these crazy things, but I'm also really excited to see some of the friends I made while I was there last time. But I'll miss my family. I'll miss you guys so much!
As I said, I know God has my future under control, but I want to at least put some effort into it, so this weekend I hosted a garage sale as well as a fancy jewelry party. Hopefully a lot of revenue came in, but I won't know for a while!
I've also been selling my art, telling people to donate to https://secure.goywam.com/home/staff-and-student-payments/further-training-fees/school-of-digital-filmmaking-remaining-school-fees. Mostly though, I want to ask for prayer. Prayer is powerful. I also want to thank you all so much for being in this with me.



Bye bye Brightwood.

My sisters and brothers

Archery

Breakfast in bed

the crew

Mah littles!

I wonder, is it easy to seriously answer phones with a moustache?

One week down, one to go.

Last week was hectic. I shall tell a short story to give a very mild example.
   I have been switched to resource which I love, And on Wednesday, Me and my cabin counselor friends decided to take our kids on a sleepout after campout. Before we left, the sky became tumultuous. As we struggled to say goodbye to a camper going home early, the wind picked up, blowing sand in swirls around the camp, and sending us hurrying to finish packing.
   The 11 of us dragged along, with bags and tents at our feet. when we finally got to our campsite (and waited for the camper with a sore ankle) it was pouring rain in torrents and we realized our food bin had been switched! fortunately the one it was switched for had a dutch oven, because we thought we were going to need to get inventive. Our girls, however frustrated or despairing, split up, and began gathering the driest possible wood, and quickly pitching the tent. But the tent was impossible! after long moments of struggle, we realized the poles were wrong. so we fixed that, but  most of the girls were soaked and walked back to the camp to get clean clothes to sleep in. As they disappeared through the forest trail, the three left and I started on cooking. It had taken possibly an hour to start a decent fire, but we cooked our stir fry beautifully, even in the torrent. When the food was cooked and everyone returned, we huddled in our homemade shelter. I forced some of my kids to eat, picky eaters that they are.
  The rain died away. We began an amazing game of Whatcha Doin, dragging visitors into it with us,  and laughing at beautifully funny renditions of kissing trees. After the energy had somewhat dissipated, we sat down for a God talk. It started with a simple life story, and opened a huge discussion of God's character, plans, home lives, and story telling. We made Smackos, went stargazing, and realized that even when everything seems to go wrong, God can use it to make everything right.


OK, so after that anecdote, a bit of news! Camp has gone well, albeit many challenges. I have one more week before I home home, before I leave. I am still short the money, but I pray and trust God will provide. That doesn't mean I'm slacking. I am currently selling some art so please please please contact me about it! I am also hosting a Lia Sophia party at my place, August 17, at 3 PM, so if at all possible try to clean out your calendar to come, or you can email your order at the hostess page of the site here: http://sites.liasophia.ca/sites/nutri
 |Please pray for me to be healthy, and that God would provide and I would be able to connect to you, my supporters. Thank you all so much for being with me in this!

cardboard hats

Me: "What was your favourite part of the week?"
Camper: "Staring at -------."
Me: "Umm, why were you staring at -----?"
Camper:" *Sigh* Because he's beautiful."

Me:"You won't fit through the door with a hat (actually a cardboard box) that tall!"

Campers are hilarious. This week my amazing girls were really into sports, so I played a lot of basketball and Badminton. We did crazy things like make campfire Eclaires, writing songs, and generally enjoying each other.  I absolutely love helping out, and being the one who gets asked sweet questions like "what does Jesus do when he's bored?" or hard to answer questions like "what are God's views on homosexuality and abortion?" or "why did he make my family so messed up?" are a privilege.
     Lately, I have been crazy busy, so I haven't really updated. I apologise. After I got back to work from being sick fora few weeks, my schedule changed a bit. I am now resource, doing orders, helping out with games, and a lot more time in the kitchen.
   On my time off, I am working on fundraising. A Jewellery party, sell paintings, ask for help, etc. I am very strong willed, and yes, I struggle with pride, so asking for help and trusting God has been a bit tough. But I have applied, and the visa is in the works, so I will go, money or no. So far, I have 3000$ of the 7500$ I need. So I'm getting there!
  Also, Galatians, and Romans and Matthew 5. Just wow! They are so packed full with encouragement and lessons!
P.S. I'm really suprized my family sleeps through 2 AM Skype dates.

take care of yourself

Ok,  so I guess it's time I tell you all what I have (or have not) been doing.
First, I am currently working at Brightwood again. There have been challenges, not all of them will be posted here, but there have also been miracles. Let's start with those shall we?
     Last year there was a little girl who came to camp. A beautiful young black girl with a horrible home life. I don't know much about it except she refused to have anything to do with God including chapels, refused to participate in anything, and every night she would go to bed screaming about how much she hates herself and her life. So I prayed.  This year she's back. She is excited about chapel, asks questions about God, smiles, and has even made friends! this is the type of miracle I work for. I love to see kids come back every year.

  Unfortunately, last week I had to take time off for severe pain (possibly cysts). I recovered, went back to work, and... disaster struck again. I hadn't been feeling well for a little while, and since I spend quite a bit of time in the kitchen, I stayed in bed bast breakfast. As I got up to talk to the head cook, I felt more lightheaded than normal, but decided to ignore it. Sidetracked by a counsellor needing help, I took a little girl to the nurse office, and on my way to bring her back to the counsellor, I got confused. The little girl took me by the hand and tried to guide me to a bench. next thing I remember is I was lying on the ground in front of the doors with people staring at me and others trying to round up the kids out of the way! Which began a series of doctors tests. I do not have Mono, I am not pregnant, anaemic, diabetic and many other things I am happy to know.  Turns out I had a bit of the flu, paired with a cold, dehydration, too much heat, low blood pressure, high stress and lack of sleep, and those many little things were enough to make me black out!
So I'm back in bed. I have not been taking care of myself, and that's something I should remember. I am just as important as the people around me, and I am no use when I am unhealthy. I help others and make them rest, yet I was told that I kept apologising to the nurse helping me, and I don't even remember!  yes, I care for others. but, remind me I'm worth being cared for too, because I forget.

But there are always more good things than bad, if you look hard enough! I went to the Edmonton art walk and got inspired, (so go buy some of my art on FB!) I Skyped many of my awesome international friends, I applied to SDF (still don't have the finances, but God will provide.) and I slept for more than eight hours. Thank you God for the verse "Be still, and know that I am God."

plans

Hello to my wonderful friends, YWAMmers, supporters, church family, relatives and so on. This little notice is just to inform you of what I am planning to do in my near future.

The first is I am planning to do the YWAM Brisbane school of digital filmmaking. It starts August 20, and is a three month course focused on all the aspects of movie making. I would primarily focus on set design, but would also learn script writing, directing, people skills, sound design, supervisory positions and the like, finished off with creating my own short movies. 

   In life application I could use this in any public relations job, theatre, charity promo, updates etc. I really feel this is where God is leading me, and with him I can do it. The only problem is finances. The school itself costs a bit over 6000 AUD, not including airfare or visas. I am not even halfway to that mark, so I need your help.  

      The next course is a Barista school, in which I would learn business management, a bit about running a non-profit organisation, proper coffee making and etiquette and finish off with some short field work in Peru.  I would use this one in the future to possibly open my own café or youth outreach center, or work at the Meeting place café, possibly furthering its reach globally. Or at least that’s what I want.

       But yet again, I would need your help. I’m a very independent person, so asking this is hard for me. Right now to raise money, I am writing a book, as well as working at Brightwood ranch. The reason I would need help is because all of this is geared towards my goal of going into and being efficient in full term missions. The sad thing is missionaries work super hard, but don’t get paid. That’s me. All of the crazy awesome things I would be helping with are volunteer, and I would actually be paying to help people!   I would love for you all to be involved with my future, and this is a great start!  If you want to donate, you can send me a check to PO box 151, Entwistle AB, T0E 0S0.

Thank you all for your prayers and support, and I’ll keep you updated on my blog at kynyapaint.blogspot.com . 

Post scriptum~ I am writing this now in bed, because unfortunately, a huge migrane has kept me from work. hopefully it can leave soon!

Post post scriptum~ if you want to help others out check out YWAM osaka or The Umbrella movie!

a sour patch in candyland

     The first week of camp is regularly trial and error, but I'm not sure if I have ever seen such a bad first week. Some... interpersonal relationships on staff have been challenging, we have a very sick horse, and we had two kids and two counselors all go to the hospital. they're all fine, but prayer for health... do that. I haven't really had time to think about things since Grandma died last may, and mom is still taking care of four extras so everything is hitting me now. One day I was such an emotional zombie dinosaur I locked myself in the bathroom and played candy crush. My beautiful friends, instead of telling me to suck it up because that's life like most people have, sat outside the door and coaxed me out, then gave me their hints for the game. that's the friends i really needed right then.
   Before that I sobbed on another friend, and it started pouring rain, so I did what i love- ran in the rain and laid in the grass watching the deep purple grey clouds swirl with life and sorrow.

So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said 
I know the sun must set to rise.
   
Coldplay lyrics really fit in this! We had crazy things like brawls, manipulative kids, and having to file abuse charges against these kids parents, and yet there are always a few rainbows in the storm. 
 (then laptop dies, I realize I don't have my chord, and pray for autosave) 

     Back to the blog!
 some of the things that brighten my day were just little things kids say like:
"this (classical) music sounds like minecraft!"
"Wow! Can I do dishes again?"
"sometimes she forgets how awesome she is." 
"i love you Painty!" 

      I foolishly asked God for a glimpse of what he has for me if I go into full term missions, and he has shown me a lot of hurting kids, suicidal teens, abuse and worldly pain. But he has also shown me rainbows and provision. I am in for so much heartache if I follow God, but I'm all in. no turning back. I must be insane.
      "Do you think I've gone 'round the bend?"
:" I'm afraid so... you're mad. Bonkers. Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret... all of the best people are."
-Alice in wonderland
     All the maddest people are all in for everything. Paul, Heidi Baker, Irena Sendler, and most martyrs were all in, and crazy for God.  And it reminds me to spend time in the bible and time with God, because "any man who goes into battle without his sword is improperly dressed." ~Jack Churchhill
       I have really been encouraged by the phonecalls and skype dates from my friends around the world, and my goal this year is to try to encourage people as much as possible this summer. Because I need it. and because making your own "plans for a future and a hope" without God doesn't work.  So whatever I'm going to do in the future, It's going to be good.

And the saga continues with the next chapter set in Brightwood ranch, where the drama focuses in on strategic naps and strange things worn on heads!

It’s only one week in and people are minorly sleep deprived. I wonder how that’s going to work with future kids! I mean, its only half through staff training!

I’m dining hostess again this year, and depending on the person asking, there’s a different definition. I’m the one who makes sure there are chocolate bars in the staff lounge. I set tables. I wash dishes. I wash dishes. I clean the big camp café. I wash dishes. Oh! Then I wash dishes! (I’m not complaining, I do actually wash dishes in between every other thing on my checklist.) 

I’m really excited about camp, last year I made some great connections with the campers. This year I have already seen God working in prayer and unity. Unfortunately, he did not obliterate all the Mozzies of the world like I asked.  

This week has been a whirlwind, full of new people (I still don’t know everyone’s names!) waterfights, and work.  We also said goodbye to our Pastor, whom I have fond memories of, and who helped me stay excited for missions and kids ministry.  Unfortunately, for all the things that are happening, I  can honestly say I can’t think of a single anecdote for the day. Unless people really want to hear about the amount of icecubes that have recently been dropped down my shirt. It seems like a regular occurrence. Anyways, camp life calls,  and I shall return to campfire stories. 

Finite time and infinite memories ( Journal for the reader)

      God has been healing people through art and music for longer than I have ever thought. It's first recorded in Samuel, where David calms Saul. He speaks through the beauty and precision of the Tabernacle. He speaks by the thoughtful plans of nature. Through his chosen people, The writing on the wall, or the graffiti on the shop you live by. He gives secrets to the ones he loves, and the ones who listen.  Then, after we listen, we speak.
     Yesterday I went on an adventure with some fellow travellers. Our original plan to go kayaking didn't work, but we hiked to this beautiful lookout and told stories if getting sick on missions trips, being home again, and basically reacquainting ourselves with life.
       Hot dog roasts or trail rides or rodeos, they all remind me of what God has done. Who I was, who I am and who I could be. He's going to continue to work in us, and if the first plan doesn't work, there's another crazy adventure that may end up even better. I just need to take a step back and let him lead instead. Maybe our lives were not meant to be planned out to death. We were possibly intended to be free and spontaneous and loving and giving. You can't bring everything you own in a suitcase, so I scaled down and gave things away. I can live off less.  A life has its a summer of infinite possibilities and memories packed into a finite amount of time. we share a small amount of time to create a brilliant life, making us who we are and who we will be, and with those short hours you begin a lifetime, a story, and an an adventure. Go into those old abandoned buildings, float down the river, shoot off fireworks, see from another person's perspective. We only have a minimal time to do them, so cherish your friend's laughs, your family road trips, your bad summer jobs, and the crazy brilliance of this beautiful finite life.
 Maybe I'll go to Rio Muni one day?

subjective normality

My life is beginning to return to normal. Question is, what is normal?

  In this house, normal is half of us waking up to greet the 2 or 13 kids that we will be taking care of that day. After everyone eats the breakfast of their choice and leaves  it on the counter, the boys go outside, the younger girls get out the dolls, and the older ones try to tidy up. I hope to escape and work on my art. Instead, I play Polly pockets and make lunch. My wonderful siblings try to help with the naptimes, the lunch, messes, AND do their school, but it's one or the other. What most people don't know is the sandbox isn't just dirt, it's a volcano in Pompei, a chance for buried treasure or a construction zone depending on the imagination. The toy guns (mostly) are not just toys, they protect the girls in the sandbox, and the mathematics about velocity and pressure are focused on heavily by my 12 year old brother. (I don't understand a bit!)The garden is a miracle where water and dirt make food, and living things thrive. The one horse is a valiant loyal steed. The playhouse is a hideaway. 

   Right now my brothers and their friends are filming their own movie. They wrote the script, take turns acting and filming, and I'll help them cut it and put it together. The girls watch me try to write a story, and I stall to teach a three year old that blue and red make purple, and we draw together as the older one tries to write a poem. The four year old learns to add as we play snakes and ladders. we learn debate class as they bring forth arguments as to why they should watch TV instead of clean. (didn't work.) It's soccer time, and we make individual pizza breads, and they learn to cook. The littlest kids and Mom are out, and that's when we try to tidy up. From all this learning and running around, the Lee kids are tired! We put the extra young ones in either their own Mommy's arms, or in respective sleeping arrangements. Sometimes that means "camping" in the playhouse. I didn't get much done, but I did a lot!

     As this is going on, in my personal time I don't have, I help my little sister with her resume, update my own, look for a job, write a book, Help Grandpa build a countertop, try to stay in contact with the people that are far away, wonder why I need to help with youth group, and why I never have a clean bedroom when I go to bed. 

This is normal for me. many things happen through the rest of it, but these are the main points. I sometimes feel lazy, because this isn't the stuff that goes on resumes or to do lists, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it, even though I will be moving on soon. No one else's home is like my own, and it made me who I am. I just wish I had a naptime, And I'm only the big sister!

God is teaching me through being back home. At times I'm tired, and just want company of people my own age, not Moms, not kids. I love them, don't get me wrong, but it's hard being almost the only one in my town that's neither one!  I have been languid or restless, hoping for something else to do, somewhere else to go, and I've spent most of my life feeling the same. I DO feel called to travel, reach out to kids in the cities far away, learning more of cultures and God, but I am being taught that Home is wherever God has me, and right now it's here. And it's good.

the strangest love, and keeping on.

"Do you want to say hi to Kynya? she just got home!"
"Yeah, but that girl's not Kynya, cuz Kynya has purple hairs and that girl has brown ones."

"Where is that girl that sleeps in my room?"
"It's actually her room, she just got home. Why do you want her?"
"I like her, but why is she here?"

"We bought you your favourite chocolate, but we ate it."

"Did you ride a wallaby on your vacation?"

"How cute is that Aussie boyfriend?"

These are parts of actual conversations this week. The first few days all I did was sleep. Life was kick- started by the hour long presentation I did for the adult class at my church. It went pretty well, but we are kinda quiet, so the question time was partly filled with youtube videos of the base.  It's good to be home, but it's honestly been a bit hard to adjust to being a child again, as in, asking if I can do something, go somewhere etc. My family has been really nice, letting me sleep and not pulling evil pranks on me.

My mom has agreed to take four young kids in for the next couple months and homeschool them while their mom gets medical care. I had not met them until today. They are really sweet, and the youngest thinks I'm "cool" (a four year old's compliment is the best) but that means she follows me everywhere, including the bathroom... I love them, but I'm still pretty tired, so I don't understand how much she loves me when the most I'm doing is barely being nice!

I don't have much to do, but cooking and writing/illustrating has kept me fairly busy. That is, when I'm not playing barbies. I'm missing my DTS friends and the city and warmth! I'm starting to get my bearings and where I fit in the family, home, and community. My room was the room of requirement, so I have to find where everything is, and reclaim it instead of the four year old who doesn't realize it's not hers anymore. Oops. She's a cutie though.
 There was a lot of deaths in my church while I was gone, and realizing a lot of the strong men and women I looked up to are gone has been pretty hard too. I didn't have time to grieve while I was in YWAM, so now I have time to thank God for the time I did have to learn from them, but I wish I had cared more! I miss them, but it makes me determined to become more strong in my faith, and live it out no matter what. I didn't really care about God before DTS, now I am probably the crazy christian chick who does everything because of Him. and that's ok, because it sure isn't fake. God has been so good with encouraging me through Colossions and even just the impending coffee and Skype dates. He has given me so many good people to talk to!

  This summer I'll be getting a job, hopefully making enough to pay for most of BLS. Its hard not to stress out about finances and transportation right now, and there's  a lot of pressure for me to "get a real job, or go to a real school, make something of my life." It may not be said in so many words, but the metron is pretty thick.
To be brutally honest, I need prayer for me to keep fighting for God and my dreams. I don't want to not care.  Thank you all so much for continuing to pray for me.

Grad, final project and Homecoming

    A lot has happened over the last two weeks, but the biggest change is my location. The last two weeks on base were focused on going home. 

    Michelle, a radio producer and a great mom figure, talked about partnering with God in the Arts and how art opens doors to opportunity, both good and bad. 

During the last two weeks, we filmed a stop motion music video, with every art track doing a part. I drew the sets on the floor with chalk. I didn't realise how long the days were going to be, sometimes working to 5 AM! I really hope it's uploaded on youtube soon so I can show it at the hourlong presentation I am giving at church. I've never had that much time before! I know I did a lot, but what do I say that will be beneficial to the church, and take a whole hour? 

     Mr. Lenz and his wife talked about re entering the culture you came from, and that was so helpful, because after being out of the country so long, and living with 150 people, in a city on the other side of the world, Evansburg seems empty and spread out. but it's where I grew  up, and It's home for now. The countryside, maple syrup and cold are awesome, but I'm still trying to get used to it again. I have been doing a lot of sleeping lately, because my body thinks it's midnight at 4 pm and 4 pm at midnight, and it's confusing. 

   Before I left, The MAD DTS had a big graduation ceremony, and various parties. We dressed up as lumberjacks and ate pancakes, dressed up fancy for our diplomas, and then went out to an all night pancake house, to celebrate our last full day together. Our DTS may have had challenges, but we were all so close by the end, It was hard to say goodbye. I was there for a few days after grad, so some of us went to the beach, meeting people along the way who were willing to talk, and we shared what God was doing with us over at the bottom of the world. It was so interesting to see that if you just follow God you don't have to try and evangelize or make things happen, people are drawn to you. Things just happen around us. We don't start it! The party just starts when the Holy Spirit walks in! (Maybe that sounds weird, but it's true.) 

  The next day, My bros and I went out for slushies, and basically just chilled. ( Unfortunately Miguel's car ran out of gas about 10 feet from the station so we had to go and push it.) I had my last 1on1 with Sara, going back to the tree where we had our first, and quite awkward one. I went out for coffee with Gary, because the staff claims he doesn't talk to students so we had to prove them wrong.  Then I helped out with Missions Sim, the contents of which are classified. ;) 

       Going home was interesting, because we had a bunch of minor delays on the way to and in the airport, but I made it, and It just shows that AU wants me back. My welcome crew, AKA my family, came out of nowhere and almost bowled me over with hugs, and treated me to Tim Horton's and sleep. By the way, Edmonton Airport is decorated with hockey and deer related items. Yeah, I understand the teasing now. And I do say Out weird but our customs are a whole lot nicer to get through!  

     I'm planning to go back to Brissy on staff with YWAM, and I truly believe that's where God wants me, so prayers and finances would be great. Love you all!

   

Easterfest!!!

       Our last Australian outreach came in a big hurrah in the form of a Christian music festival.
The whole base except perhaps 5 people all went up to Toowoomba, setting up tents, fences, and the like. You won't believe the amount of time and work that those things take, and I wasn't even there for a lot of it!
I was stationed in the kitchen. Kitchen is the best place to be (sometimes anyways) because we do crazy things like ad lib parodies of worship songs replacing the words with the name of whatever food we are cooking. We had an amazing time singing Disney and chopping\mashing 70 KG of potatoes all at once.
 Unfortunately, the shoes I bought for Japan were ones I thought were good, but were actually horrible, and I developed a really bad limp from an inflamed/stressed tendon. |So my Easter Sunday was spent watching gates for 8 hours. yuck. I did go and get new shoes, and I am soooo thankful for the head cook and his wife, who paid for half, and the insoles. I need to remember that I'm not invincible, and I have amazingly generous people around me. I mean, I don't even know how many people prayed for me that week!
  Easterfest was a lot of hard work, and a bit painful for me, but I still had a lot of fun. I got to go to part of The Almost's mainstage concert, unfortunately my camera strap broke, and I had to go look for it, but a lady brought it to lost and found as I was reporting it. How cool is that! I also went to a Shonlock concert. I liked his music, but I didn't know he was such a good showman! Then later on, as I was heading off to sleep, I bumped into the whole band. I talked to them for a minute, then they all gave me a hug, and told me to rest because my foot wasn't going to get better if I keep walking on it. Good artists, showmen and nice people? Sweet! The paintwall, constant worship and great new friends are probably the highlight of the week.
 God was really working in this weekend, and I think there were a lot of lives changed by conversations at the YWAM Chai tent. I'm going to miss it.
     I wasn't homesick much at all during DTS, but soon I'm going home, and I think I'm ready. I'll miss Australia and everyone, but I need to see my little siblings  before they are all taller than me! Fourteen days until I walk onto that Alberta bound plane, with suitcases full of stuff, and a head full of memories and ideas.

say it, repeat it, then say what you said- a sermon about second chances

 God’s nature is perfection, justice, and love. He wants us to be near to him. Since he is perfect, he hates sin. He gives us the choice to choose to follow what he says or not.  Adam and eve sinned by choosing not to listen to the only rule God gave them. God gave this rule to protect them from pain they were not ready to know.  Genesis 2:16-17 ¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

    God cared about Adam and Eve and didn’t want them to live forever in their sin. So God took them out of the Garden of Eden, and thorns grew, and they felt pain, because they knew what they did was wrong. Since then every one of us have tried to run away from him. We are the children of Adam and Eve, and so our whole world is affected by sin.  Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

       But God is a God of second chances. He warns us many times to listen to him. He gives us time before he punishes us.

Jeremiah 29 10-16

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.  I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

      .    

       In this passage, The Israelites sinned and worshipped other Gods. They refused to acknowledge only The true God alone had the right to be worshiped. God loved them so much that he was sad and angry when they ignored him. He should be respected and loved! So he punished them by giving the people of Israel what they wanted. If they wanted to be like the other countries that were sinning, they were going to be slaves in that country.  If they didn’t want God, he would give them to someone else for a short amount of time.

        People might think of God as mean for sending the Israelites into slavery, but they chose it. He gives opportunity to come back, and you see again and again in the bible that God gives them lots of time to come back but they don’t want him! 

.

 The second part is about God’s love and the redemption.

        God will take you back. I’m not saying everything will be easy when you follow Him, far from that! But life is always better (not easy) with God. His idea of what’s best and our idea of what’s best are very different. No matter what you have done, no matter how much you think God should not love you, you can still come back. He has a purpose, and sometimes the bad things in your life shape you to be used by God for something better in the future of his Kingdom.  Look for him, search for him, and you will find him. He makes that a promise.

Luke 15 11-24 11

      Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

      In the runaway son story, the son dishonored his father by asking for his inheritance, the money that he should have got when his father died. Yet again God (the father in the story) gives him punishment by giving the son what he wants. For a while the son parties and gets drunk, and soon his money is gone. His friends leave, and he gets the worst job there is.  He was starving, and there was no food, and he was paying for his party life. But when he goes back to the father (God) he is welcomed back!

         These themes are seen again and again in the bible. Man sins and runs away, God lets them run away for a while, and when we turn back to him, he welcomes us. But that doesn’t mean we should treat God badly and ignore him. God is powerful and Mighty. Everything we do has consequences. When a child falls down, he scratches his knees, but his parents are there to help him up. When we run away from God, we get hurt, and we keep him from helping us.   Even when we are trying to do good things for God, we fail. We can never be perfect because of Adam and Eve’s sin. Everything we do cannot even get close to how good God is. That is why he sent Jesus. Jesus is all God, so he had no sin in him. He was all human, so everything we struggle with also tempted him.

Jesus could have sinned if he had wanted to, but he chose not to. Instead, he was laughed at, hurt, and killed. Jesus, the son of God died to make us pure. He did all of this just to make a way for us to come back to God! Can you imagine a God so perfect?  He loves us so much that he lets us learn by our mistakes, he allows us to choose to be with him, and he Dies in order for us to come back to him! He was the last sacrifice we will ever need for our sin.

So what now?

     We WANT to be with God. His plan is always good. There are hard times in our lives, but when we have the Holy Spirit in us, when we believe we have the authority God has given to us, we will always have Him to help us. We will always be ready. God gives us a second chance, he makes us sons and daughters of Himself, the highest King. He makes us warriors with the best armor and weapons.  So that now, we can fight the sin and the enemy that keeps us from God’s love.  We are on the holy God’s side of the war against sin.  So now what do we do?  The first thing we do is pray. Pray for forgiveness, and admit you are a sinner. That is why Jesus died. So that all humans could come back, and be with God instead of the death we deserved. Jesus took our punishment, that’s how much He loves! God is our friend, and he wants to hear from us, even though he knows everything already. He will give us what we ask for, as long as we are obeying him.  Talking to the God who created everything is powerful! Ask what you need to do!

The second thing is to do it! God has given you faith, Authority and everything else you need. The fight belongs to the Lord, and he has already won, you’re just fighting a small battle, but it still makes a difference. You are a son of God now, so you need to fight for your kingdom. You are saved, now it’s time to fight for the right of others who don’t yet know the love of God. That is who you are in the grace of Christ Jesus!  Be careful what you do and think. Would God approve? Is it good? Stay away from things you know are wrong. Go towards a life of being holy and pure. Worship God for how awesome he is. Show love in what you say and how you act.

The last thing is said in this bible verse.

 Philippians 4; 7-8 ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ 

God is a Good God, and he loves you. He has given you all the things you will need to stay strong in him. Love him, and respect him, and he will bless you. 

the cute little version of part of my testimony

My parents were very loving and taught me about who God is, and I wanted to tell people about him even when I was very little.  I told my mother I was going to be a mssionarry in Japan when I was six!

When I was eight, My mother decided to teach me at home. I thought I had good friends, but when I stopped going to school, they started to make fun of me and be very mean. I felt very alone, and I thought that what they said was true. I didn't think I was beautiful, or worth being loved. At thirteen many things happened all at once to make me very depressed. I would often hide in my room for days, and the only good thing I would do is draw, because it was the only safe way to let my emotions out. I didn't want to feel, because feeling hurt. I wondered why, if God loved me, would things like this happen? Even though I still believed God was real, I didn't care about him, because I couldn't hear him speaking to me. Then someone asked if I wanted to come to a christian concert. There were many people speaking, And one of them had no arms and no legs. I don't remember all of what he said, but I thought, “If God can love that man, with no arms or legs, and if He can do good things for God, So can I. I remembered the bible verse Jeremiah 29:11-12.(read out the verse?) God had plans for me! I was worth something! I held on to that bible verse. It said that even though God's chosen people were having a very hard time, and they were hurting, One day God would heal them and bring them back home.

I was still  depressed, but now I had hope, and I knew there was a reason I was alive. When I was 15 I went to work with children that had no home or sometimes no parents. I felt that God was calling me to help people like those ones again, Just like I wanted to when I was little. I worked with those kids for four years, and then felt like God was calling me to go to Australia to study the bible, and how to use art to reach people. I didn't want to, because my art was very close to me, and I didn't show anyone, because I thought it wasn't a worthy way to spend my time. But God kept telling me to go, and so I did. In Australia, I learned so much about God's love, and plan for me. I healed a lot, and learned I could trust God, and I could trust people. I met genuine Christians, who were willing to love God no matter what. They wanted to share God's love in everything they did! I started showing people my art, And I prayed for God to be able to use it to bring the world hope. I didn't really see the worth in my art yet.  My art teacher encouraged me to do big things with my art. I was so afraid! But as I let God use my art, I began to see how it shows God. God can use any skill, if you let him! The hardest thing was to draw myself. The first time, I drew a very ugly person. The second time, I drew a person who was searching for something. The third time, I drew a person who was beautiful. She looked like she knew God loved her!

When my Australia team found out we were going to Japan, I was so excited! We prayed, and God gave us a picture of a red balloon.  To me, the red balloon means being filled with Hope. Not from what you can see, but from Jesus Christ. That, with God, we can rise higher than the things that hold us down. And that God gives us the ability to have joy even when the world seems dark. The red balloon is a reminder of who God is, and how much he loves us. It may take time, but prayers really do get answered.

   Having God means that I have hope, and that I always have him with me. . I’m not saying everything will be easy when you follow Him, far from that! But life is always better  with God. His idea of what’s best and our idea of what’s best are very different. No matter what you have done, no matter how much you think God should not love you, you can still come back. He has a purpose, and sometimes the bad things in your life shape you to be used by God for something better in the future of his Kingdom.  Look for him, search for him, and you will find him. He makes that a promise. Galatian 6:9 tells us that when things are hard, when Jobs are stressful, when friends and family leave, don't give up God's work. He loves you, and your life has a great plan to build the kingdom of heaven. God can use anything you can do, and even if you don't thing you can do anything, He knows what you can do. He loves you anyways!  

reminiscence and profundity part 2

 When I thought of the Joshua verses 'Be strong and courageous, I always took that as a 'Don't fall apart', push through and don't let people see you struggle. But I never thought about the second part. "For I, The Lord your God is with you. " He isn't saying hold yourself together, he's saying we have the God of the universe on our side to rely on. Sometimes, being strong could mean doing the hard thing and being vulnerable, and trusting God with what giant walls you face.  -Joshua 1:9

   (I was going to add a story about how the world without creativity and colour would be, but it's too long.)

      Japan has stolen part of my heart in these six weeks. I will miss the softness of the trees, politeness, the Sakura celebration, the brightness of the pinks and blues. I think of the kids I worked with, The dancers by the city hall, the toddlers building blocks and painting. I remember octopus balls, Bento boxes, trains as packed as sardines, and too many pigeons. The Hollands, who blessed us so much during our stay, and the reason why the song Total Eclipse of the Heart will never be the same! Constant selfies documenting our travels, umbrellas, bikes and rain. Masks and walking EVERYWHERE, and general confusion of the language.
    God has taught me that I am capable of much more than I thought, less capable than I could be, that I need to rely on him, and the biggest thing, Missions is all about relationship. work to the exclusion of people is wrong, and God needs to be the forefront.
Art, however self conscious I may be about it, is a powerful tool. One that speaks without words.
     Also, leaving. yeah, leaving is hard, and being left hurts,  but it's a blessing to know the people and places, and hold God's creation close to your heart. Our capability to love grows with our efforts to use it. Dream big, its ok to expect a lot when God partners with you. Stare at the clouds! why keep your feet on solid ground when you can soar around the world and make memories and change lives in entirely new cultures?
ah, the melancholy feelings of leaving one place, and heading to another! Watching a plane take off, a train depart, packing that last thing in a suitcase bound for who knows where! Kimonos? A stop in Korea, a dip in the sunshine coast... what else does God have planned? I am truly blessed to be in the service of this great God who created this! there are cons though. confusion, not fitting in, constantly leaving, not being understood, being broke or exhausted.But my strength comes from the Lord, I am destined for something better than this world, I am always making new friends and stories. I can always trust God's provision.
I feel like I am becoming more of who I am meant to be. I'm not who I was a year ago, or even a week ago. every minute past presents a new challenge I am to conquer.

reminiscing and profoundly tired thoughts (part one)

"I will hold you together. It is my strength not yours, that keeps you from getting lost, falling apart, getting ragged. the buttons you find on the ground, on trains, and in the obscure corners are my reminder to you that you can rely on me. I am with you. I will keep you warm, provide for you, and be your joy. I found you, and you are not a lost button." - The Button promise, Kynya Lee

  "Every motion I make is perpetuated by another’s will. I do not know the meaning of choice. The master pulls a string, I move. This is life. In my mind, a series of stories in which I am a player run circles. My thoughts never vary, and I will never revise them, for they are not my own.  I am fed what to do, where to go, what to say. I am a fool, and I care not of consequence. I have no emotion other than what the master tells me to feel. There is no pain, yet I have never felt joy.  I am wood. I am dead. I am a marionette.

       You! You of flesh and blood! You of thought and soul! You, with the power of choice and imagination! Be life! Formed by the Giver of Life, with the miracle of free will, be not like me! Do not be deceived by the show of whirling forms around you! They have no choice, no life, no thought to their next move, they are controlled by a power that is even less than the one you hold! Walk out of that puppet show of lies and complacency! What does the mind, the body, the emotion or the soul profit you if you do not exercise the right? Go and live!

    so I walked out of the puppet play of Media, of what is smart, of what makes money. I entered a life where the only known was the unknown. Anything could happen, and I chose it myself.  I will not be controlled by the things others say. I have cut the strings, and given them to the Almighty Creator. I choose to know sorrow, and I also know Joy. , I am Real, I am Alive, I am Free.

        And I bow as the curtains close behind me." -The show, Kynya Lee

"After the deepest winter, after the coldest nights, I will give you a fragile beauty. It will notlast forever, but it will not fail to come again. It is my promise, a promise of fruit and sunshine to come, that I will not fail. Imagine this with me. If this inconstant beauty gives you joy after the frost, how much more will the trees of eternity be, after death? Your world is a shadow, this fragile beauty is a glimpse ofwhat is to come and is at this moment being formed by my hand. you are a mirror reflection of me, imperfect and scratched. But look towards eternity, continue without fear, for now is a phantom world. Your pain won't last. the winter will come to an end, like Eternal Cherry blossoms. 

- spring's reminder, Kynya Lee

cherry blossom season

Japan is beautiful in spring. the trees come alive, the clouds disappear, and Team Japan heads out to hand out fliers and get lost on trains. yeah, it happened a few times.
We just finished our time with the English school, teaching, fliering, and stapling our days away.   Our contact is really good at making things fun though, even if handing out fliers isn`t my top pick job. we have performed for a church, who was so hospitable they did American style BBQ for us! it was so much fun to meet the young people of the church. It seems like the dads are the matchmakers over here though...
Last weekend we joined the
 Tokyo YWAM base for street outreach,  talking to local people, an worshipping God. It started out quietly, but ended off with a dance circle to some great Japanese/English praise! our team has learnt three more Japanese songs in the last week as well. Thanks youtube!
    on our day off the staff decided they were tired, so Em, Daniel and I went to Hirajiku by ourselves. the most trouble we got in is the fact that we couldn't find our train, so the machines kinda ripped us off... we were good students. ;) Hirajiku is like the fashion insanity paradise of Japan. thrift shops and Cosplay abound!
   we are also working on a couple videos, so I hope I can post them one day.
Next week we are working with a different school, and it will be a finale to our Japan trip. I have only been here a short while, but it may have stolen part of my heart. one week until Australia, seven until home. It makes me think. What`s the next step? where is God going to lead me next? How am I going to fit that Kimono in my suitcase?!

broken silence

I'm writing a story. I can always create the world, the people, and the problem, but the world's answer eludes me. ARGH! This story (so far) is about a monochrome world, where creativity is outlawed in order to prevent war. (No ideas, no war right?) bring in the travelling Bards, storytelling grandmother and the leader of the Red Rebels who dream of beauty....

   The last weeks have been super busy with helping the ARK English school. We have handed out a lot of flyers, and eventually made it a game how many times people would reject the flyers before someone takes one.
 Next week we are helping out with a kids kindergarten, and I get to fingerpaint!!!!
Today Team Japan went to he zoo, as well as did some filming. theres not a lot to say, because mostly, I tract and sleep. sorry!

Dragging our suitcases through Tokyo cuz that's how we roll.

      Outreach has been good, and a lot of work is put into it, but I aim to bring joy, hence the bad joke.
Our last week on Osaka was full of youth outreach which involved dances, street evangelism, large amounts of participating in selfies, and no small amount of struggling to learn more Japanese. I forgot some already!
It was great to see how much God can do in just a few weeks. At first it seemed our contacts weren't quite sure to do with a MAD team, but God opened doors to youth, churches and the community in crazy ways! I found it a bit hard to get my bearings in it though, because I'm not a performer, so being onstage is hard, but not having a place onstage when the rest of the team does is equally frustrating. I have taken my role of Intercessor, as well as onstage art sometimes. It's hard to bring such large paper when your way of getting around is walking, and a train like a sardine can!
Before we left Osaka, we walked to Kyoto in the footsteps of two famous missionaries, and visited some of the shrines. I won't be going to shrines again, they hurt!
     We travelled by bullet train to Tokyo two days ago. everything is noisy, full of people, and lights dazzle you every corner. It's beautiful and I love it so much! The first thing we did here was learn some Japanese worship songs, and sing them at Shibuya Harvest that evening. After that we cleaned toilets. We never had time for lunch, and we finally got to having dinner around 10 pm. Pizza that night was the most amazing thing I tasted, simply because it was long anticipated. (I had wanted pizza since BEFORE outreach and never bothered to order it, because I don't want to waste money on things I don't really need. That didn't deter me from buying green tea KitKats though! they were cheap.)
    The next four weeks we are looking forwards to teaching English classes, doing some church work and performance, and there's always the element of surprise.
The family we are staying with are personal friends, and it's so nice to be in a home setting again! I have heard that they are a bit famous in Christian sphere in Japan, which makes sense, because right now the Dad is doing a crosswalk walking across America. Yup.
Our team is getting closer it seems, and hardly a day goes by without Daniel taking a picture of his food, Me coming up with a new way to mess up my words, and all of us in random outbursts of song and dance.
Our biggest prayer is that we would stay healthy, and that we would we be given the right heart and words to reach the ones God loves. Which is everyone BTW.
Japan has been good to me so far, And I really believe I grow so much every time I travel elsewhere. This is what I want to spend my life doing!