take care of yourself

Ok,  so I guess it's time I tell you all what I have (or have not) been doing.
First, I am currently working at Brightwood again. There have been challenges, not all of them will be posted here, but there have also been miracles. Let's start with those shall we?
     Last year there was a little girl who came to camp. A beautiful young black girl with a horrible home life. I don't know much about it except she refused to have anything to do with God including chapels, refused to participate in anything, and every night she would go to bed screaming about how much she hates herself and her life. So I prayed.  This year she's back. She is excited about chapel, asks questions about God, smiles, and has even made friends! this is the type of miracle I work for. I love to see kids come back every year.

  Unfortunately, last week I had to take time off for severe pain (possibly cysts). I recovered, went back to work, and... disaster struck again. I hadn't been feeling well for a little while, and since I spend quite a bit of time in the kitchen, I stayed in bed bast breakfast. As I got up to talk to the head cook, I felt more lightheaded than normal, but decided to ignore it. Sidetracked by a counsellor needing help, I took a little girl to the nurse office, and on my way to bring her back to the counsellor, I got confused. The little girl took me by the hand and tried to guide me to a bench. next thing I remember is I was lying on the ground in front of the doors with people staring at me and others trying to round up the kids out of the way! Which began a series of doctors tests. I do not have Mono, I am not pregnant, anaemic, diabetic and many other things I am happy to know.  Turns out I had a bit of the flu, paired with a cold, dehydration, too much heat, low blood pressure, high stress and lack of sleep, and those many little things were enough to make me black out!
So I'm back in bed. I have not been taking care of myself, and that's something I should remember. I am just as important as the people around me, and I am no use when I am unhealthy. I help others and make them rest, yet I was told that I kept apologising to the nurse helping me, and I don't even remember!  yes, I care for others. but, remind me I'm worth being cared for too, because I forget.

But there are always more good things than bad, if you look hard enough! I went to the Edmonton art walk and got inspired, (so go buy some of my art on FB!) I Skyped many of my awesome international friends, I applied to SDF (still don't have the finances, but God will provide.) and I slept for more than eight hours. Thank you God for the verse "Be still, and know that I am God."

plans

Hello to my wonderful friends, YWAMmers, supporters, church family, relatives and so on. This little notice is just to inform you of what I am planning to do in my near future.

The first is I am planning to do the YWAM Brisbane school of digital filmmaking. It starts August 20, and is a three month course focused on all the aspects of movie making. I would primarily focus on set design, but would also learn script writing, directing, people skills, sound design, supervisory positions and the like, finished off with creating my own short movies. 

   In life application I could use this in any public relations job, theatre, charity promo, updates etc. I really feel this is where God is leading me, and with him I can do it. The only problem is finances. The school itself costs a bit over 6000 AUD, not including airfare or visas. I am not even halfway to that mark, so I need your help.  

      The next course is a Barista school, in which I would learn business management, a bit about running a non-profit organisation, proper coffee making and etiquette and finish off with some short field work in Peru.  I would use this one in the future to possibly open my own café or youth outreach center, or work at the Meeting place café, possibly furthering its reach globally. Or at least that’s what I want.

       But yet again, I would need your help. I’m a very independent person, so asking this is hard for me. Right now to raise money, I am writing a book, as well as working at Brightwood ranch. The reason I would need help is because all of this is geared towards my goal of going into and being efficient in full term missions. The sad thing is missionaries work super hard, but don’t get paid. That’s me. All of the crazy awesome things I would be helping with are volunteer, and I would actually be paying to help people!   I would love for you all to be involved with my future, and this is a great start!  If you want to donate, you can send me a check to PO box 151, Entwistle AB, T0E 0S0.

Thank you all for your prayers and support, and I’ll keep you updated on my blog at kynyapaint.blogspot.com . 

Post scriptum~ I am writing this now in bed, because unfortunately, a huge migrane has kept me from work. hopefully it can leave soon!

Post post scriptum~ if you want to help others out check out YWAM osaka or The Umbrella movie!

a sour patch in candyland

     The first week of camp is regularly trial and error, but I'm not sure if I have ever seen such a bad first week. Some... interpersonal relationships on staff have been challenging, we have a very sick horse, and we had two kids and two counselors all go to the hospital. they're all fine, but prayer for health... do that. I haven't really had time to think about things since Grandma died last may, and mom is still taking care of four extras so everything is hitting me now. One day I was such an emotional zombie dinosaur I locked myself in the bathroom and played candy crush. My beautiful friends, instead of telling me to suck it up because that's life like most people have, sat outside the door and coaxed me out, then gave me their hints for the game. that's the friends i really needed right then.
   Before that I sobbed on another friend, and it started pouring rain, so I did what i love- ran in the rain and laid in the grass watching the deep purple grey clouds swirl with life and sorrow.

So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said 
I know the sun must set to rise.
   
Coldplay lyrics really fit in this! We had crazy things like brawls, manipulative kids, and having to file abuse charges against these kids parents, and yet there are always a few rainbows in the storm. 
 (then laptop dies, I realize I don't have my chord, and pray for autosave) 

     Back to the blog!
 some of the things that brighten my day were just little things kids say like:
"this (classical) music sounds like minecraft!"
"Wow! Can I do dishes again?"
"sometimes she forgets how awesome she is." 
"i love you Painty!" 

      I foolishly asked God for a glimpse of what he has for me if I go into full term missions, and he has shown me a lot of hurting kids, suicidal teens, abuse and worldly pain. But he has also shown me rainbows and provision. I am in for so much heartache if I follow God, but I'm all in. no turning back. I must be insane.
      "Do you think I've gone 'round the bend?"
:" I'm afraid so... you're mad. Bonkers. Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret... all of the best people are."
-Alice in wonderland
     All the maddest people are all in for everything. Paul, Heidi Baker, Irena Sendler, and most martyrs were all in, and crazy for God.  And it reminds me to spend time in the bible and time with God, because "any man who goes into battle without his sword is improperly dressed." ~Jack Churchhill
       I have really been encouraged by the phonecalls and skype dates from my friends around the world, and my goal this year is to try to encourage people as much as possible this summer. Because I need it. and because making your own "plans for a future and a hope" without God doesn't work.  So whatever I'm going to do in the future, It's going to be good.